My Stupidity Knows No Bounds

The Hubster’s quite puzzled by my recent obsession with our front porch.

He doesn’t “get” that the porch is the first glimpse, and the first impression, that people have of us. I’d like both to be good.

And so I’ve been trying to create a welcoming outdoor space. (Note the use of the verb “try”.) I chose colors I felt delivered a vibe appropriate for an outdoor space…cool and relaxed with just a touch of sun.

And I friggin’ hate it.

On Sunday I realized why.

That’s the day I went in search of fabric to cover the seriously freakin’ ugly pillows that came with the patio furniture I couldn’t assemble.

I. Am. An. Idiot.

After five hours of trying to assemble that crap-tastic furniture and getting nowhere, and after becoming convinced the set would have to go back to the store, I still went shopping for fabric to pretty it up.

Maybe I thought the furniture was pissed about those ugly pillows, too, and if I brought home pretty fabric it would suddenly decide it wanted to be put together. Maybe it would even assemble itself.

Yeah. I. Am. DEFINITELY. An. Idiot.

And so Lulu and I ventured out to find fabric. I imagined finding something like this…

…or this…

…or this…

…or even this…

But as we browsed the aisles of fabric my personality spoke loudly and very clearly. It said, “I am NOT cool. I am NOT relaxed. I am NOT sunny.”

It said, “I am dark.”

“I am moody.”

“I am bold.”

And try as I might to search the sections with bright and happy fabric, the relaxed and sunny fabric, I was inevitably drawn to the dark…

…the moody…

…the bold…

So I spent some time today messing around on Olioboard trying to develop a more concrete vision of my space that does NOT reflect my personality.

(Note: My new obsession with Olioboard equals my Pinterest obsession. I’m terribly afraid I’ve developed PinOlio…a dreaded disease which renders the infected person incapable of finishing another DIY project. EVER. PinOlio also affects eating and sleeping habits. In fact, PinOlio renders its victim incapable of doing much of anything that doesn’t involve a computer, a mouse, and hours and hours of wasted time.)

Anyway…I came up with an Olioboard that speaks to me…

The moody, dark, and bold insisted that it be included. Which could be a problem. Because the patio set I ordered last night kinda sorta doesn’t fit…

Yeah, my stupidity knows no bounds.