In the Nick of Time

You ever have a week that made you want to be just about anybody but you? One that made you want to run away to some far away place that you can’t even pronounce? Or put duct tape on the children’s mouths and lock yourself in a closet? (My initial idea was was to put them in the closet, but I felt that duct tape by itself might not necessarily disqualify me for Parent of the Year.)

Recent events have led me to conclude that summer vacations are not about our kids having time to rest and rejuvenate and learn outside the confines of the classroom. Summer vacations are about giving parents like me ample opportunity to realize how inept and idiotic we really are. I have actually said the following…

  1. Do I need to separate the two of you? (said as the kids are throttling the snot out of each other)
  2. Are you writing on my wall? (said while watching my child write on the wall)
  3. Can’t you see I’m on the phone? (My kids have 20/20 vision. Yes, they can see I’m on the phone. They just don’t care…)
  4. I’m your momma, not your maid. (Said thirty seconds before I automatically cleaned up stuff that didn’t belong to me)

There have been other “Mommy Needs Vodka” moments (lots of them!). Though I doubt that vodka will make me less idiotic, it will make me not care that I’m idiotic.

It’s just been one of those weeks. And it’s only Thursday. Morning.

But instead of drinking (since I have no liver left after the hazy decade that was my 20’s) I wandered over to Bower Power, hoping for one of Katie’s make-me-shoot-coffee-through-my-nose blog entries. She didn’t disappoint. I got the great laugh I needed (her posts make scorched nasal membranes fun!) plus a huge bonus!

(Click on the banner to jump over to Bower Power and read all about it)

It’s just the thing I needed to stop my Roman blind obsession and revive the front porch mojo that melted when the hundred and five degree days set in.

I’m dreaming of a rug and a hanging light fixture…one that doesn’t require electricity or require open flame. I’m also envisioning some new furniture, but I’ll never pull that build off before Tuesday at 7 a.m. when the Pinterest Challenge ends.

And the imposed deadline is part of the challenge’s appeal. Something to move me so I’ll quit pinning and get working.

Productive mom=happy mom. Happy mom=sober mom.

Yeah, I think this challenge arrived in the nick of time.

So what about you? Are there things you’ve said to the children that made you want eat your shoe? Do you have any coping mechanisms (other than vodka) for dealing with long summer days with the kids? How do you stay motivated when all you want to do is put your head in the freezer? Tell me tell me tell me.


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Categories: Miscellaneous Miscellany

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