I See A Red Door…

…and I want to paint it…uhhh…red. (Sorry, Mick) Yeah, I’m channeling some Stones this morning. I’m such a dinosaur.

So you remember our front door, right? Our it’s-supposed-to-be-cranberry-ish-red-but-it’s-uber-faded-and-very-unwelcoming front door?

Front Door - Before

Sorry about your eyes. I know that was a lot of ugly to take in all at once. I tried to spare you…I swear I did. Did you notice the weird angle of the photo? That was so you didn’t have to face the uber-ugly head on. And so you didn’t have to see my pasty-white-thighs reflected in the glass.

So I got a wild hair early this morning…yeah like 7:30 A flipping M early…which is waaaaaayyyyy too early for me to be doing much of anything except mainlining coffee…and decided that today was the day the ugly got gone.

Well…in truth…the wild hair started a few days ago. I mean I didn’t get up at the crack of dawn and drag the kids to Lowe’s to get paint. I picked it up on Wednesday, so this ugly-door’s-gotta-go mood has been hanging around for a bit.

So after shooting some caffeine into my veins I dragged out the paint supplies.

Painting Supplies

Yeah, I broke out the tape and the drop cloth! Maybe I’ve gotten smart. Maybe I’ve gotten lazy…okay…ignore that maybe…it’s not an appropriate part of that sentence. Maybe I just wasn’t willing to turn my mad painting skills loose around our newly stained decking boards without some protection.

While I was taping around the door frame I noticed this…

Improperly Installed Door Hinge

Yep. That’s a hinge. It has a twin, and they are both screwed to the outside of the door. Really? Really?!?!? Who does that? Who does that?

Oh never mind. I know who. A man who shall forever be known as Mr. PH (Previous Homeowner) on this blog. In my mind he’s known by many many other names.

I seriously considered removing the hardware and pulling the pins so that I could chisel out slots for the wings, but then I foresaw the grief and pain that would occur when I dropped the door trying to get it onto the sawhorses. I imagined shards of glass flying and stitches required. Then I imagined The Hubster’s reaction when he arrived home from his fishing trip to discover that I’d broken the glass out of the front door.

Yeah…that’s a project that will wait until another day. One where there’s another adult present to assist me with the door removal.

So the only thing that got removed today were the nasty doorknobs…

which I’d love to replace with something like this…

New Oil Rubbed Hardware

but I can’t justify a hundred and forty bucks for aesthetic purposes. Excuse me…a hundred and forty bucks plus thirty five for an additional doorknob for the interior door.

Obviously those knobs will have to be a project and post for another day.

So after removing the nasty knob and scuffing the door with the 3M pad and wiping the door down, I picked up my brush. Finally! And I thought…this will be a breeze. The door’s already red…well sorta. And this is that new Hi-Def Color stuff. And the lady at the paint counter said was a nice thick paint. And she said it was one-coat paint.

Why oh why do I believe the paint sales lady when she tells me it’s one coat paint? Probably for the same reason I believe the swim suit sales lady when she tells me that bathing suit makes my butt look amazing.

Sometimes I just can’t handle the truth.

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Categories: Front Porch, Renovations

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